#pause #break #concentration #breathing #present moment #mindfulness
Take a break, and don’t feel guilty about it
You want to get ahead in your life, so you walk fast, you run, you organize things. The day is planned ahead and tasks that need to be done are done. On time.
... … but you don't take the time to rest.your.mind.
You //need// to feel busy and efficient, yet your mind needs rest.
Whether it's by closing your eyes for a moment in a meeting room or stepping out into the fresh air and looking proudly ahead while your mind is free of thoughts. By clearing your mind for a few moments, focusing only on the now and paying attention to your breath, you give your body and soul what they need.
Sometimes the most obvious things are the most effective.
Take a few seconds, a few minutes, a few days; with___
_______ n_o_t_h_i_n_g__to do.
Attitude towards people
Be kind, but be aware of people thinking you’re dumb
People like friendly people.
People also take advantage of friendly people. They see them as naive, weak and manipulable.
Still, you shouldn't think that you have to stop being nice. If that is your nature, then don't fight it. But don't let yourself be misled. Recognize what the other person thinks of you. Observe them. Do you notice in her or his attitude a quiet form of condescension? Does he or she think you're inferior because you're good with others?
That may well be the case.
If so, show them that being nice doesn't mean being stupid.
How do you do that? With a look. One word. A change in your attitude.
Image source : The Water Fan (ca. 1888–1889) by Winslow Homer.
#judgment #what others think about you #Will Smith #i-Robot
Don’t give a f*ck about what others think of you
There is this scene in the movie iRobot, the chase in the tunnel, where Will Smith is mocked by his colleagues who think he's crazy. Will Smith then yells in their faces in the manner of an angry movie Will Smith:
"Do I look like I care what you think? D.o__I__ l.o.o.k__l.i.k.e __ I __g.i.v.e __ a__s.*.i.t __w.h.a.t __y.o.u__ t.h.i.n.k !?!”
That's the right attitude you should have.
It doesn't matter to you what people think of you. Let them think what they want.
Because you don't care what they think. You don't care AT ALL. As simple as it sounds.
#fall in love #relationships #love #couple
Love as you are loved
At 16, you fall in love with a girl or a boy.
You're friends, you have more and more conversations, and they strangely feel more and more exhilarating. Soon after, you fall in love. Your heart races, but it races alone. This particular friend's heart isn't moved by the same feelings. You're now madly in love, but it hurts not to find in his or her eyes the same loving look you have for him or her, and when you finally face the truth in a painful realization: he or she isn't in love with you, your heart is wounded. In vain you try to persuade the other person to love you, even though love doesn't work that way, of course. You get depressed for the first time in your life. Really depressed. Food no longer tastes good, your phone rings but you don't answer it, and the Netflix show you're watching doesn't even excite you anymore.
Four years later, at the age of twenty, the same pattern repeats itself, with someone else. You fall in love again, maybe the romance becomes more physical, maybe you have sex, and you let yourself think that "he/she's the one," that "you're meant for each other." But this relationship you're imagining is just that: a pipe dream, because what he/she wanted isn't right for you. The relationship ends.
When you grow up, you should learn not to fall into this trap.
If you have feelings for another person, you need to control them.
Think about it: What's the point of falling in love with someone who doesn't want to be with you? What's the point of falling in love ? if the other person doesn't feel the same. Love sublimates life as much as it destroys it. So, for your sake, for your salvation, your well-being, your pride, your confidence as you walk towards your future, don't fall in love alone in this empty corridor where the other isn't waiting for you on the other side.
Fall in love, together.
Image source : Three women in profile (1890-1900) by Henry Somm.
A perfect you
#questions # knowledge # communication # self-improvement
To be wise is to have more questions than answers.
You need a lot of understanding to ask the right questions.
So listen, tap into your knowledge, make the mental connections between the information you already know, and delve into the wisdom of others to expand your own.
A good question not only allows you to better understand a topic and thus expand your knowledge; it also opens up the conversation by letting the other person have their say.
Instead of saying "I like this color," say "Do you like this color?".
On one hand, you're closing the conversation; on the other hand, you're opening it up.
That changes everything.
#routines #rituals #discipline not thinking
Embrace rituals and routines
Rituals are there to help us.
Rituals remove uncertainty when they're rooted to the bone.
In martial arts, gestures are repeated tens of thousands of times until they're biologically encoded; thus, their action is mechanical, instinctive, and not thought through. When the fighter thinks he's too slow, he takes the blow.
When you think about whether or not to floss tonight, you're already creating a situation of unnecessary uncertainty. If flossing has become a habit and you use it without thinking, you make your life easier because:
- you don't have to think about whether you should floss or not,
- you don't feel guilty for not flossing when you don't feel like it, and
- you're doing something good for your oral hygiene.
Routines are the secret weapon of the great.
They get up at the same time every morning, their workday follows a set of rules, they adhere to a certain discipline about things that may seem insignificant to you. And yet they're so successful that you can't help but admire them.
Sometimes it just takes a little discipline to make big changes.
Image source : Bermuda: Houses Seen Through Trees (1918) by Charles Demuth.
#office life #posture #sitting #seat #small things #attitude
Don't slouch in your seat
You're walking around the office and once again have to endure the grim sight of this guy slumped in his office chair, obviously not even bothering to lock it in the upright position to feign some sort of self-will.
This man has left his dignity elsewhere, on this day like so many others.
The computer mouse is stuck to his wrist and he has a gaunt expression on his face. You wonder if he'll open his mouth wide now, or a few moments after he disappears from your view, to pleasure himself with a shameless yawn.
This guy is clearly not moving humanity forward.
¯\_| ✖ 〜 ✖ |_/¯
Let's say you were a business owner,
- Would you give this man a bonus?
- Would you entrust him with an important matter?
- Would he or she seem **trustworthy** to you?
The answer is obviously __no__.
Attitude, as we know, is the sum of the little things that make a big difference.
Don't be the person described above.
Straighten up, if only to prepare your body to do what you're paid to do: work.
#poverty #scarcity #stoicism #seneca #discipline
Learn to live in poverty
In 65 BC, the Stoic Seneca wrote to his friend Lucilius:1
“ […] Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?” It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress, and it is while Fortune is kind that it should fortify itself against her violence. In days of peace the soldier performs manœuvres, throws up earthworks with no enemy in sight, and wearies himself by gratuitous toil, in order that he may be equal to unavoidable toil. If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes. Such is the course which those men have followed who, in their imitation of poverty, have every month come almost to want, that they might never recoil from what they had so often rehearsed.“
What Seneca explains here has a name:
There is no need to take this exercise to extremes. We know it's not easy.
But start with small things.
Every once in a while, opt for an ordinary instant coffee instead of your usual Nespresso. Eat that two-day-old bread once in a while instead of throwing it away. If you're used to the comfort of leather seats in your car, take public transportation. Learn to enjoy simple pleasures that cost nothing.
It may sound silly, but if you maintain this discipline of scarcity, you prepare your soul for a possible setback, you learn to be content with little, and you realize how lucky you aren't to face poverty every day; like this man you didn't look at on your way to work this morning. This man lying on the street above a ventilation grate of the subway station. He has just spent a whole night in the cold, in solitude, wrapped in dirty clothes, suffering from an empty stomach.
1Seneca, (63-64 AD), Moral letters to Lucilius, Letter 18, Wikisource full text.
fall into the arms of Morpheus
Yes, I know. You don't feel like it.
It's late, and all you want to do is perform your minimum daily oral hygiene - an express toothbrush - and fall into the arms of Morpheus, the deity who promises you the most enchanting dreams.
And yet, an essential step in oral hygiene is the use of >> d.e.n.t.a.l f.l.o.s.s << .
You see, in the tiny gaps between your teeth, sneaky little bits of what you've eaten throughout the day get stuck. When you use your toothbrush, whether electric or not, it can't remove the stuck food. The food slowly rots before it completely dissolves.
No need to explain why people who don't floss have breath that is at best not fresh, at worst stinky. And of course, it's not just about maintaining good neighborly relations with your office mates or sweet-talking a handsome woman or man; it's also about keeping your mouth, and especially your gums, healthy. If your gums bleed when you brush your teeth, it's time to stop using the mirror to contemplate how attractive you and start flossing to get your charming smile back.
Make it a daily evening ritual.
#patience #project #work #building
Creating something? Be patient.
“Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.”
In the very word of Debbie Millman.1
__ | __ > You want your project to be completed by tomorrow.
__ | ____> You want to be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor the day after tomorrow.
Our culture of immediacy is misleading us.
Life doesn't work that way. It's the attention you give to what you build, those details you finally think about after working, reworking, and reworking again your creation that makes the difference. It is the product of your whole being, complex as it is, which will then finally express itself in your craft. This complexity takes time to express itself fully. So be patient. You have time to do it right.
But don't think that this maxim only applies to immaterial things.
Trust, friendship, wisdom, love, are all concepts that also take time to bloom.
1Debbie Millman is an American writer, educator, artist, curator, and designer who is best known as the host of the podcast Design Matters. She has authored six books and is the President Emeritus of the American Institute of Graphic Arts (AIGA) and chair, one of only five women to hold the position over 100 years. Source : Wikipedia.