One million
Advices

Every second day, read a short advice on life, straight from the comfort of your inbox.

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I observe the world around me, I read, I listen, and I distill my understanding into short advices designed to guide. All are logged into this one webpage. Just scroll down and ponder a few bites,

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Leasure time

id:3

# pause # break # concentration # breathing #present moment # mindfulness

Take a break, and don’t feel guilty about it

You're running, you're moving, you're organizing your day, work is coming at you and you're not taking the time to rest your mind. You want to feel busy, efficient and yet your mind needs to rest. Whether it's closing your eyes for a moment in a meeting room or sitting on the throne, taking a breath of fresh air or looking ahead, with your mind free of thoughts, just think about recharging your batteries. By clearing your mind for a few moments, focusing only on your breathing.

Attitude towards people

id:2

# kindness

Love as you are loved

Be kind, but be aware of people thinking you’re dumb

People like kind people. People also take advantage of kind people. They see them as naïve, weak, manipulable.

Don't stop being nice though. If this is your nature, don't oppose it, but think carefully about what the other person might think of you. Observe their attitude. Does they become condescending as the conversation or your relationship evolves? If so, take note, and now show your kindness does not rhyme with idiocy.

Image source : The Water Fan (ca. 1888–1889) by Winslow Homer.

id:1

# judgment # what others think about you # Will Smith # i-Robot # red

Don’t give a f*ck about what others think of you

Remember that scene from the movie i-Robots, the tunnel ambush scene. At the end of the chase with the robots that caused a massive carnage, Will Smith, who his colleagues believe to have gone mad, sneers at him, mocks him. His boss, the police chief, has just suspended him. With a swollen face, determined in his belief, Will Smith, walking by, stops, turns, and turns sideways to face them. He shouts at their faces, "Do I look like I care what you think? DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK!”

Now.

That's it.

That's the right attitude to have.

It doesn't matter to you what people think of you. Let them think what they want.

Because you don't care what they think, what they think about you. You don't give a damn. It's as simple as that.

id:4

# fall in love # relationships

Love as you are loved

Love as you are loved

At 16, you fall in love with a girl or a guy. The two of you are buddies, your conversations become more and more frequent and strangely intoxicating, and soon you fall in love. Your heart is racing, but it's racing on its own. The heart of this friend you think of after leaving school is not moved by the same feelings. Madly in love, it hurts you not to see in his or her eyes the same loving look that you have for him or her, and when you finally confront the truth in a painful realization, your heart is wounded. In vain, you try to persuade him or her to love you, and of course, it doesn't work. You get depressed for the first time. Food doesn't taste good anymore, your phone rings but you don't answer, your Netflix series don't even get you excited anymore.

Four years later, at the age of twenty, the same scheme repeats itself, with someone else. You fall in love again, maybe the romance will be more physical, maybe you'll have sex and you let yourself think that "she or he is the one", that " you are meant to be together". But what you fantasized about when he or she is not by your side, is only a fantasy, because what he or she wanted is just to "try". And the relationship again, ends.

As you grow up, learn not to fall into this trap.

If you have feelings for another person, you need to control them. Because think about it: what's the point of falling in love with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Falling in love for what purpose if it is not mirrored. Love sublimates life as much as it destroys it. So, for yourself, for your salvation, your good, your pride, your assurance when you walk straight towards your future, don't fall in love alone in a corridor where the other is not waiting for you on the other side.

Fall in love, together.

Or don’t.

Image source : Three women in profile (1890-1900) by Henry Somm.

id:5

#questions # knowledge # communication # self-improvement

Ask questions

To be wise is to have more questions than you have answers.

You need a lot of understanding to ask the right questions.

Listen, tap into your knowledge, create those mental connections between the information you already know and delve further into the wisdom of others to increase your own.

A good question not only allows you to better understand a subject and thus expand your knowledge; it also opens up the conversation, it gives the other person a chance to speak.

Instead of saying "I like this color", say "do you like this color?".

On one hand you close the conversation, on the other hand, you open it.

It changes everything.

id:6

# routines # rituals # discipline # not thinking

# routines # rituals # discipline # not thinking

Rituals are there to help us.

Rituals remove uncertainty when they are rooted down to our bones.

In martial arts, gestures are repeated tens of thousands of times until they are biologically coded; their action is thus mechanical, instinctive, not thought out. If the fighter thinks, he is too slow, he takes the blow.

When you think about whether or not you should floss tonight, you are already creating a situation of unnecessary uncertainty. If flossing has become a habit and a thing you do without thinking, then you are making your life easier for yourself, because 1/ you don't have to think about whether you should floss or not, 2/ you don't feel guilty for not flossing when you don't feel like flossing, and 3/ you are doing something good for your oral hygiene.

Routines are the secret weapon of the great ones.

They get up at the same time every morning, their workday follows a set of rules, they observe a certain discipline on what might seem insignificant to you. And yet, here they are, at a level of success that you can't help but contemplate.

Sometimes all it takes is a little discipline and big changes can be made.